BillLindau

unprinted column -- Here, There & Everywhere

Here, There & Everywhere With Bill
A guy who knows his mosquitoes, and an activist with chutzpah
By Bill Lindau
I never heard of vegetarian mosquitoes, and I've never met anybody who knows as much about the little buggers as John Vinroot. Also, for those who haven't heard about a certain Canadian ex-mayoral candidate, see the item further on down in this column.
Vinroot, an environmental specialist with the Montgomery County Health Department, came to Brutonville Community Center last week and talked to some senior citizens about the little pests. He told us a lot of things about mosquitoes that aren't common knowledge.
He especially surprised me by being about to tell the species of mosquito that I had just swatted on my arm. He was maybe five feet from me and rattled off the name at once. He has eyes like Sherlock Holmes, Jim!
A ranger at the Uwharrie National Forest said this county has several different species of mosquitoes, and Vinroot really didn't have to think too hard to determine it. Still, that didn't lower my sense of amazement. It's amazing that he managed to identify the species from that squashed little corpse lying on the table.
Here are some other things I didn't know about mosquitoes:
* Most of us only know about the species that bite people. There are others that suck the blood from other mammals alone, or from birds, amphibians and reptiles. Some of them don't bite animals at all; they feed on the nectar from certain fruits. My mistake. Those are really fruitarian mosquitoes. Heck, tomato, to-MAH-to....Cool! Do they wear Birkis, listen to Paul McCartney or watch Pamela Anderson on old episodes of "Baywatch"?
* Only one in 10,000 mosquitoes carry the West Nile Virus. Unfortunately, the media all seem to zero in on that one case in 10,000, especially if somebody gets horrendously sick and dies.
* Males never bite anybody or suck blood. It's always the female, Vinroot said, and only when she's ready to reproduce. Then she sucks the blood as protein for the next generation of pests.
Sorry, but I can't have too much sympathy for these flying, long-nosed mothers-to-be. I have some advice for you lady skeeters with a hankering for human blood:
"Keep your proboscis out of my arteries, Mama!"
You don't think of mosquitoes as having different species, like spiders and snakes. I mean, I always though a skeeter was a skeeter. One of them bites you and it'll itch like mad if you don't flatten the (rhymes with itch) in time. End of story.
The program about the mosquitoes reminds me of the time Doug Marlette came to Pinehurst.
Marlette, a longtime political newspaper cartoonist, held a book signing in Sept. 2004. He had a collection of his more controversial cartoons titled "What Would Mohammad Drive?" and his novel "The Bridge".
To make a long story short, one of his cartoons in that book featured The State Bird of New York -- a mosquito.
I was seated with members of a booster club for the Given Memorial Library, for whom the luncheon with Doug Marlette was a fund-raiser. I showed the cartoon to a woman who happened to come from New York. You should've seen the look on her face, Jim. She couldn't have given me a dirtier look if I had told her a really crude "damyankee" joke.
She was entitled to her reaction, but man, a couple of days in Laidbackburg.
John doesn't talk with a Dixie accent, but he comes from Ellerbe. He worked in New Jersey for several years and that's how he lost his Southern accent. His environmental views are right up my alley. No bringing back DDT, for one thing. He said he worked for a chemical company for 8 to 10 years. He didn't like their idea of a bottom line, so he found a more environmentally friendly profession. All right!
I ain't -- ah -- lying, man!
Late last month, an environmental activist who calls himself "Mr. Floatie" and goes around in a costume that looks like human excreta, ran for mayor of Victoria, British Columia.
If I'd been a resident of that city, I would've voted for him.
Unfortunately, the city decided to challenge Mr. Floatie's (aka James Skwarok) candidacy in the British Columbia Supreme Court. So he withdrew his name as a candidate.
Mr. Floatie has made headlines this year by wearing this big brown suit to protest the dumping of raw sewage into the Pacific Ocean. Reports have appeared in regional newspapers. This is no baloney, Jim.
"(Skwarok) said the city apparently took issue with his candidacy because only real people can run for municipal office," the wire report said.
The report quoted Skwarok as saying earlier, "Of course I'm not a real person. I'm a big piece of poop."
People would see Mr. Floatie quite a bit. One of the stories on the Internet has a photo of him in his costume; it even has a face. The costume reminds you vaguely of Chris P. Carrot, the PETA character who goes around the public schools and gives speeches about vegetarianism.
Not quite the same thing.
At these gathering, which have included city council meetings, Mr. Floatie has been passing out pamphlets indicating that the city of Victoria is pumping sewage directly into the waters "after only a screening to remove solids."
Skwarok is a member of POOP (People Opposed to Outfall Pollution). Earlier this spring, he tried to get into a Victoria all-candidates meeting, but the town wouldn't let him in.
The report said Victoria dumps 120 million liters of raw sewage a day into the ocean, and that's what Mr. Floatie wanted to bring before the candidates.
Whether or not you agree with somebody like this, there's nothing in the world like good street theater, coupled with one of mankind's biggest guilty pleasures, namely, good old GI humor. I have taken part in my share of demonstrations, but I never had Skwarok's kind of nerve.
I wonder if any kid in this country or Canada learned about that costume in time for Halloween. Float on, Mr. Floatie!






Contact correspondent Bill Lindau at (910) 582-6610 or email blindau52@yahoo.com

posted by Bill Lindau @ 5:24 PM